Chapter 1

Motoko felt heavy, in her head and in her body.
She had been training the last 3 hours, but the weird thing was that she didn't feel better.
If anything..she felt even worse.
She was more tired than what she was used to.
"Maybe I'm catching a cold, that must be it."
She went back to her training. She took a break, an hour later, she was simply exhausted.
She didn't have any energy left.
"I think i should go to bed, and get some rest, I think I'm gonna get something, I don't want to stay ill longer than necessary."
Motoko walked to her room, completely in her own thoughts, she didn't see in front of herself. Which made her walk right into Keitaro.
"Whoops, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."
"Don't worry, i don't mind".
He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. That made Motoko blush, she was even more red than a tomato in summer.
"Oh no, I'm blushing in front of Urashima...so not good..! i have to get going, I'm very busy at the moment,goodbye!"
Motoko was still red as a tomato.
"Something wrong Motoko?"
"No!"
"Sorry i asked..."
"Its nothing, really, i just came to think about when we...we..did...have..s-"

"Mhm, keep quiet, Shinobu might hear you, and you know how she reacts, she wont be speaking to me for a week, without crying."
Motoko didn't say anything.
"I see...you feel embarrass because of what we did?"
"I feel ashamed, i have deceived my family and myself, i feel so stupid right now."
"Don't worry, no one will ever find out about this, i promise."
"Thank you Keitaro."
"I had long enough time to figure out my life, i do not feel anything for Naru anymore. Of course i feel something for her."
Motoko looked at him.
"As i do feel something for all of the other girls, but that is not love, its friendship."
"OK..."

"But what i know..is that i can't say the same thing about you."
Motoko couldnt believe her own ears, she couldnt think about anything to say in reply.
She threw her arms around him, and looked up at him. Her eyes were glossy, as if she was about to cry.
"Is something wrong Motoko?"
"N-No...everything is just fine."
Keitaro sighed.
"I'm simply lovesick, i long for love...for someone to love me..as i am,"Motoko smiled.
They shared a real kiss.
"What are the ambulance doing at Harukas cafe?!"
Shinobu came running.
"What? Is Haruka hurt?" Motoko and Keitaro ran down to Haruka's cafe.


"What happened? Where is Haruka? Is she alright?"
"I'm not the one you should be worried about." Haruka walked up to Keitaro and Motoko.
"Huh? Who then?"
"Naru."
"N-Naru? What happened to her?"
"She got hit by a truck, when she was crossing the street, and she is now unconscious.
Keitaro was worried.
"I don't know anything else right now, thats all i can say right now." Haruka noticed Keitaro and Motoko holding hands.
"Is that so...."she smiled.
Motoko and Keitaro dropped each others hands in a matter of seconds, and they blushed like hell.
"Kids, you're not saying that..."

"Not so loud, Haruka!" Keitaro freaked out.
"So you two did have s-"
"Haruka! Don't!"
"I get it, so i have to take it as a yes?"
"Yes."
"I thought you loved Naru."
"I..."
Motoko looked at him, confusion was written all over her face.
"I do love her, I also love Shinobu, Kitsune, Kaolla and Mutsumi, and Naru too, but I'm not in love with her anymore."

"I do love Shinobu,Kitsune, Kaolla and Mutsumi, but only as friends, nothing more. I can assure you that much."
"So, you admit it, you're in love with Motoko?"
"Yes, its still early, but i like her very much, how it goes, will only time show."
"Oh boy..."
Haruka was a little confused at the moment.
"But know this Motoko, I will always have a place in my heart for Naru, but not as you think, not that way anymore."
"I see.."
"However, i still care for her, and i would never forgive myself if anything happened to her, she is my friend."
"Yes, i know, and i know you will also keep Naru in your heart forever, that i respect and understand."
"But why isnt the ambulance leaving?"
A man in a white suite came out.
"What is it?"
"I'm sorry to inform you, we did everything we could, but her life wasnt able to save.
I'm sorry for your loss. Her last words were; i love you Keitaro."

[Acheron]

That was.......Amazing above all else. i had to read it 3 times after the first. That was great. Though it shocked me that Naru died.
When's the 2nd chap. comming out?

thanks! not yet,im afraid, maybe friday? or is that too long for you to wait? let me know

[Acheron]

Yes!!! it's driving me crazy not knowing what's going to happen

well when you post it be sure that i'm going to read it

Chapter 2

"Naru is dead...NO,IT CANT BE!"
This made Keitaro break down, he made his way to the back of the ambulance. He walked towards Naru, and he sat down beside Naru's dead body.
No one tried to stop him.
Keitaro began to cry. Naru Narusegawa was dead.
Motoko decided it was best to leave him alone to grief, she understood it perfectly, a friend's death was always hard.
She went to Haruka's cafe, and got herself a cup of green tea.
"What do you think about all this?"
"What do you mean?"
"Naru is dead, where do that leave you and Keitaro?"
"I'm not sure what you mean..."

"You two had sex, and now what? Are you really together?"
"Well, its up to Keitaro, what he wants. But i understand whatever his choice will be."
Haruka finished her cigar.
"If he wants time to think, i respect it, and if he thinks its better to end relationship, i will follow his wish."
"I see...but do you love him?"
"I...yes...i do..."
"And he loves you?"
Motoko had a thousand thoughts going around in her head.
"Yes.."
Keitaro walked in, he didn't look good, his eyes and face were swollen of crying.The smile in his eyes, wasn't there anymore.
The only thing Motoko wanted right there, was to give Keitaro a warm and comforting hug, and never let go.

Motoko didn't feel well, she wasn't in good shape, she was sick, and she felt ill.
"Damn, i hope its over soon."
It was now 2 months since Naru died, and they had overcome the funeral together.
And everything was slowly turning back to normal, of course, nothing was the same, but Shinobu was still cooking dinner.
Kitsune was drinking Sake.
Kaolla ran around with Sara, exploring the secret passages and so on.
Motoko was continuing her training.
But there was a hole after Naru. It would always be an empty chair around dinner,breakfast and supper...
Always a not taken seat in the sofa, a room where no one lived in, filled with the past, what used to be.

But Motoko and Keitaro were still in love.
You would think Naru's funeral would break them apart. But their love grew only stronger between them.
Keitaro walked in at Motoko's room.
Even though she wasn't dressed in anything but her underwear, she didn't kick him out, in attempt to kill him, and besides, she trusted him.
After all...he had already seen her without clothes. Keitaro walked close to her and wrapped his arm around her.
"Hey Mo, are you OK?"
"I'm fine."
"I think you are a little pale,you're not sick are you?" "No, not at all, I'm fine, its nothing..."
"OK, if its anything, let me know, OK?"
"Sure."
Motoko smiled at Keitaro.
"But still, i think you should go see a doctor, you haven't been yourself lately."
"I'm not ill!"
Motoko began to cry. Keitaro gave her a hug, in effort to comfort her.


(Waiting is now officially over,Sephiroth)

[Drakeflyte]

I REALLY like this story!
This is where i do my constructive criticism however, there isnt much to do!
The literary techiques are all spot on, especially the cliff-hanger at the end of the first chapter
I also like the way the characters are shown, if the LH had gone onto other series, i could see this kind of Motoko "lite" version coming through, as well as a stronger figure in Keitaro.

Please, please keep writing, its a credit to this site well done

i must say: thanks ,hehe,

Chapter 3

"What are you talking about?"
"I think i might be pregnant."
"What...?"
"I'm 2 months pregnant Keitaro...2 months along..."
Keitaro stood looking at Motoko, not saying a single word. The silence made Motoko quite nervous.
"Keitaro? Are you mad at me?" She said.
"No, not at all, why would i be angry with you?"
"I-I..I dont know..."she sighed.
"So...you are really pregnant, we're having a child?
"Yes."
Keitaro looked thoughtful.
"And a half year from now there will be a new addition in the Aoyama/Urashima family".
Motoko smiled.
"But what...."
"Huh?"

"But aren't you a little young to have children?
"Um...I'm 17, and remember Keitaro, there are even younger people than me that gets children."
"Really?"
"Even at age of 13. so the age of 17 isn't much to complain about, I'm practically adult."
"OK..."
"And my 18th birthday is later this year."
"2 months..."Motoko and Keitaro looked at eachother and smiled.
They shared a passionate kiss.
"What do you think the child's sex will be? Do you want a boy or a girl?"
"I don't know...what's your wish?" Motoko said.
"Well....you know me, I would like to have a boy."
"Mhm.."
"But when everything comes to short, I don't really care about the gender.
I only want it healthy and well."


"God, I'm gonna gain lots of weight, shit! How am i supposed to get back to my training?!"
"Motoko, listen to me, not everyone gains much weight."
The room was quiet...
Motoko wasn't staying calm, she was ready to freak out. "And i think you would be able to continue for at least 3 or 4 months."
"Do you think so?"
Motoko looked around in her room, the room seemed much bigger, for some odd reason.
"As long as you don't pressure yourself too much."
Keitaro smiled.
"I see...i guess it's for the best, I'll try to take it carefully."
Keitaro began to cold sweat, "what are we gonna tell the other girls?"
"The truth?"
"Um...what about Shinobu, she will not look my way for the rest of the year."


Motoko laughed.
"Kitsune will hang me, Kaolla would run after me trying to stuff my inside's out with bananas."
"I see..we'll just have to figure it out."
"I know, but they will eventually discover it somehow."
"You're right."
"Where are we gonna put all the child stuff?
This room suddenly feels a lot smaller."
"And you will get bigger in a couple of months, so perhaps you should get a bigger size, to cover it all up?"
"Thanks for the idea....SHIT!"
"What now?"

"My sister...! She will kill me! Crap, what am i gonna do?!"
"Take it easy, if she doesn't show up....then everything will be okay, wont it?"
Maybe...but..
Keitaro walked around in the room.
"but she craved i have to come visit every once in a while, what should i say?"
"I dont know.."
"Dear sister, I can't come in the next half year, because I'm expecting a baby?"
Keitaro looked puzzled.
The whole situation was complicated, and if Tsuruko found out, heaven next..for them both.
"Boom, and there you have it, hell breaks out."
Shinobu had in secrecy listened to what Keitaro and Motoko were talking about.
"S-Shinobu...its not what you think"!
"What is not what i think?"
"Ummm..."
"It's not possible to misunderstand someone's being 2 months pregnant, is it?"

Motoko lowered her head, as in shame.
"I'm not gonna lie to you, you would figure it out anyway, yes, I'm pregnant."
"I know Keitaro is the father, there is really no point in keeping secrets here."
"Oh,we're well aware of that."
"Everyone will peek and listen to whatever you said, haha."
Shinobu smiled.
"So you're not mad?"
"Haha, why should i?"
Keitaro and Motoko exchanged looks.
"It's your life, i don't have anything to say, its you, no one else, that controls your life, you are in charge." "OK..."
"But i have one question..."
"This doesn't sound good..."Motoko and Keitaro thought the same thing at same time.
"What's the gender?
Motoko didnt say anything, Keitaro just stood watching Shinobu.
Boy or girl? And can i be your babysitter?
With payment of course." Motoko and Keitaro laughed, their faces turned tomato red.




A few weeks later:

Motoko was going to Ultrasound control. But Keitaro had come down with a fever, and he had to stay in bed.
"Don't worry, it's no big deal. All that matters is for you to get better." Before Motoko left, she gave Keitaro a goodbye kiss.
"Now, make sure to get enough water to drink, and lots of sleep, OK?"
"Yes, sure."
"I'll be back in about 2 hours. See ya later!" Motoko left the room.

"Well, it appears that your child is perfectly healthy, its growing normally,as an unborn child on 3 months should do."
"Just how many weeks pregnant, am i?"
"You're 13 weeks pregnant."
"It's only one,isn't it? Not twins, right?"
"That's right, just one, and do you want to know the sex of the child?"Motoko looked at the woman. Really?
Yes.
"Um...is it possible to figure that out so early in the pregnancy?"
"Yes, you're able to figure it out from month 2 and so on."
And you're expecting a girl."

A smile came across Motoko's lips..."a girl...my daughter....mine and Keitaro's daughter..."
"All done, your next check-up is 15.08, 4 o'clock."
"Ok, bye then."
Motoko took the bus back to Hinata San-chome and walked up to Hinata.
Keitaro was still in bed, and he was sleeping.
Motoko smiled, she took one of his old books and ripped off a piece of paper.
''Make sure to buy pink clothes...''Mo